Wardrobe of a Madman
by Sabby-Sama
Summary: Ever wonder why AVANLANCHE found Vincent dressed the way he was? CLIFFHANGER SUMMARY, OH MY! More description and warnings inside.


Warning: Language, mentions of fashionally declined men, slight darkness?

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><p>Ever wonder why AVANLANCHE found Vincent dressed the way he was? Oh how he got the wonderful idea to dress like that? These questions are answered along with the real list of 'Sins" Lets just say Vincent is not a very sane man. After all, He does have demons in his head...<p>

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><p><span>Wardrobe Of A Madman<span>

Vincent felt horrible, full of angst and most importantly, emotastic.

After all he was a MONSTER.

Boohoohoo...! Vincent frowned so deeply, it could have dropped off his face. A face which he couldn't even bear to look at in the mirror because once again he was..

A MONSTER!

Actually, he was a demon, Vincent thought matter-of-factly tilting his head from side to side as he was considering it. He felt the need to yell out once again, furious. What he was about to yell totally didn't go well with his deep voice and would have made anyone giggle at the absurdity.

"I'M A DEEEEMOOON!"

He was slumped against a wall in the basement of the Shinra Manor, the very place where his humanity was destroyed, experimented on, and where he was renewed into...THIS.

Vincent picked up the bottle of pills he randomly found earlier. He took a handful of what he thought was painkillers. Even though he knew he couldn't die, it was worth trying right? He did have to pay for all his "Sins."

His mind started to wander as he was wallowing in his own self pity. Maybe the pills were working, he thought. He shrugged.

He was far from human now,especially with several psychotic demons inside his head.

And he was IMMORTAL.

Gosh, these are some signs that he should be checked into an asylumn before he became a threat to others.

Vincent was so lost in his oh-so-very-sad thoughts that even his over heightened senses didn't notice all the coffins that was surrounding him. But when he did;

He got the idea that will go down in Final Fantasy History.

It was so simple! He would just lock himself in a coffin for the rest of his un-natural never ending life just for even exsisting.

He felt the happiest he's ever felt that day at the thought, as crazy as it seems.

He looked down at himself and what he was wearing. He grimaced at his tattered, dirty Turk uniform. If he was going to the drop off the face of the Planet, he didn't want to do it dressed like this.

Who knew Vince was such a girl?

He started to get a whole bunch of ideas on his new attire that he would dress in before he locked himself away.

When he was a child he always wanted to grow up to be a superhero, and how wonderfully that turned out. He grew up to be a murderous Turk.

That's what he would go into the coffin dressed as, the newest edition to the Marvel superhero family; A tortured, red eyed, emo demon man, he decided.

How the children with unhealthy comic addictions will idolize him so.

His eyes shined at the thought of somewhat fulfilling his long overdue child-hood dream, creating the costume he always daydreamed about.

Huh, actually I withdraw that girl statement since only boys are that dorky.

Vincent had the urge to cry about how dramatic he was being about all this. He inherited his father Drama-Queen gene! He mentally noted how he should add this to his never ending 'I'm-a-complete-failure-my-life-is-ruined-and-i'm-a-monster-I-don't-deserve- to-be-alive-because-of-the-reasons-listed-below-I-shall-fulfill-punishments-to-pay-for-all-these-sins-and-my-very-exsistence' List.

Or: I.A.C.F.M.L.I.R.A.I.A.M.I.D.D.B.A.B.O.T.R.L.B.I.S.F.P.T.P.F.A.T.S.A.M.V.Y for short since the full name is such a mouthful and so not catchy.

...The girl statement is back again. This time adding, 'uber moody' in the title.

He swiftly got up and clunked back up to Hojo's lab above the basement and began the search for items for his outfit.

He scanned the lab, pushing back the memories that came to him. He was a man on a mission. Vincent jogged over to some cabinets, throwing them open looking for anything that would be useful. He stopped at a cabinet he opend and just stared into it.

Was this...what he thought it was? He pulled out a black leather shirt was a gazillion buckles on it that reminded him of a straight jacket, and matching leather pants. He shook his head.

Hojo was a sick bastard.

He tossed the objects on the closest examination table for later and began to scour once more.

Vincent stood calmly in the lab, while his flashing red eyes roamed about wildly. They landed on the window. Mainly at the curtain hanging on said window.

He dashed over to examine his find. His hands reached up to the thick crimson material and he rubbed it between his fingers while humming in thought.

Damn, Lucrecia could pick out some good curtains, he thought.

In one quick movement he yanked the curtain from where it was on the rod, ripping parts of it in the process.

At the examination table, his little 'workshop' he gazed down at his current items, thinking.

He snapped his fingers, he got it!

Finding a big ass pair of very lethal looking surgical scissors he roughly cut off some extra buckles on Hojo's warped and twisted shirt thing. He then added these buckles on his sloppy makeshifted cape to pretty it up. The cape, which also included some stich thread to make it in the first place. The demon infused man smiled at his creation.

Vincent Valentine; Turk, was craftier than Martha MOTHERFUCKING Stewart, bitch!

_**This is a better looking cape then Superman's, If I do say so myself.**_ He grinned

Afterall, what was some crazed, demon man -slash- wannabe superhero without a cape?

Answer to that; Someone who just MIGHT go on a rampage and kill anyone and anything if he didn't have one.

Vincent looked thoughtfuly at his current ensemble. It needed something... Maybe an emproided 'V.M' on the back of his cape for Valentine Man? Nah, he thought. Too cheesy and cliche.

He pondered for a while with his eyebrows narrowed. The demons inside of him snarled calling him an idiotic human host. Vincent wondered why they thought such a negative thing about him as he continued to frowned.

_**Oh yes! Silly me! **_He needed shoes! Vincent smacked himself in the forehead for being so stupid. Couldn't be running around barefoot!

As we all know, one of Vincent Valentines most remarkable features, something that would stand out in the crowd, that all of us fans would be able to identify him by was his shoes.

Those gaddamn sexy shoes!

That is, if you have some odd fetish with shiny metal clunkers that could easily slice someones appendix out without any thought if the user wasnt careful.

Oh yes, those goddamn sexy, completely attractive shoes that everyone envied.

For all we know, Vincent could have swiped the footwear off a Medieval Knight from the nearest Musuem. During the crime his eye might have been caught by the unbearable shinyness of the Knights gauntlet like a child with ADD and "borrowed" that too, 'cause it looked cool.

That's not the case with poor Vinnie here though. He looked down and scowled at his size 28 Shaquel O'Neil-like feet. Just one of the many perks of being taller than a freaking Costa Del Sol palm tree.

His choice in outrageous footwear did not come from a stolen Knight's armour but from some convient pot's and frying pans laying around in Hojo's Lab. He thought it was odd, but didn't question the gift from the Gods.

Not having the slightest clue what do with cooking objects he thought the gold accents would look amazing with his outfit. To bring out the red and black, ya know? He shrugged and using his new unnatural strength-ANOTHER sin, he molded the metal into footwear big enough for him.

He raised an eyebrow when he put the pointy boot on suprised at how well it fit him. Thinking how well a shoe maker he would be, he copied the same thing on the pot but to make a gauntlet instead.

He once again looked over all the items he had for the last time and let out a laugh, one that did not promise good things and would send shivers down ones spine.

To the man this whole getup looked perfectly fine to him. Fantastic even.

But again, this was coming from a man. A Turk at that. He had his outfits pre-picked for him for work. Not like he went out anywhere other than going to Shinra everyday also. He would think a colour pallette of orange, green and brown would look absoloutely FABULOUS for fuck's sake!

Did having non-normal, blood red eyes fuck with your sense of sight?

Not knowing what got the bust of him, Vincent randomly cried out in a rough voice, "I HATE YOU HOJO LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME HERE I AM AN IMMORTAL WITH DEMONS PLAGUING MY MIND BUILDING SOME POOR EXCUSE OF A CRAP COSPLAY ABOUT TO LOCK MYSELF WITHIN A COFFIN AND FEELING EXTREMELY SELF CONCIOUSSSS." This was all in one breath.

...Creepy silence.

Wow, Vinnie's sure got a pair of lungs. Must be the size of his feet.

Suddenly, a thought ocurred to him. It didn't matter how the hell he dressed. He was going to be in a coffin until the world ended. He could dress as a clubing hooker for all anyone cared!

And for a fraction of a second, he considered that.

The Turk changed eagerly into his newest creation and returned to the basement, hoping into the nearest coffin. Before lying down and shutting the lid he muttered in a melodramatic tone, "Goodbye, world." and shut the lid.

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><p>Some 30 years later...<p>

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><p>"Umm, Cloud? How long has this Vamp been in this coffin for?" A creeped out Yuffie asked quietly, refering to the odd fashion trend that was Vincent Valentine.<p>

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><p><strong>A few things, First;<strong>

**Don't ask where I got the inspiration for this xD**

**The next thing I should say, This is NOT in anyway, shape, or form to bash Vincent. I love him dearly and wouldn't intentionly do such a thing, lol. I've just felt inspired lately to do a Parody type Fic.**

**Hope you liked this one since I haven't written anything in a while. Maybe you might get lucky and get a new story/ new chapter of Destructive Duo. It all depends on Reviews. ;D**

**~Sabby-Sama.**


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